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I am not going to die wondering

Edison, September 4, 2011
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It’s 2pm on a Saturday afternoon.

The sun is shining.

I’m slightly hungover, with a case of brain fog that even strong caffeinated beverages won’t remove.

Ten minutes ago I gazed out the open window at people walking past below, pausing for a moment of reflection that became an extended daydream, and now I can’t wipe the smile off my face.

My whole life lies before me.  And you know what?  I rather like the look of it.

Yesterday I took what is probably the biggest leap of my life.  I booked a ticket to Thailand.

Is that exciting?  Well no, not really.  But what that ticket represents is possibly the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.

That ticket represents freedom.

For the last thirteen years, every time I’ve started a trip there has always been an end date in mind.  It might have been a week later, it might have been six months, but there was always a point at which I knew I was going to stop.  A point at which the fun was going to end and I was going to have to grudgingly find a job and head back into an office.

This time it’s different.

Several weeks ago I wrote about the wonderful session at the World Domination Summit that resulted in me writing a single powerful word on my arm.

One of the best exercises that we did as a group was to tell a stranger of a time when we felt the most alive, with the goal of coming up with the one word that defines us more than any other.  We then had to take an indelible marker and write that word somewhere on our body.

The word that I wrote on the inside of my left wrist was FREEDOM.

That session – and that word – has played on my mind ever since.  If I want to be truly happy, I need to be truly free.  And like it or not, I’ve finally realised that isn’t going to happen if I keep having to return to the cubicle every few months.

So I’m not going to.

It’s time to try to make a location independent living, to try to at least cover my expenses while living wherever I choose.  I’ve made a start, and while the income levels are still very low and very uncertain, it’s given me the strength to believe that this crazy idea might just be possible.  There’s only one way to find out, I guess.  So come early November, that’s just exactly what I’ll be doing.

I don’t know what the future holds.  I don’t know when I’ll next be back in this part of the world.  Other than a few vague plans, next year looks like one big blank canvas.  There’s a dozen different ideas.  I may do all of them.  I may do none.

I do know, though, that I regularly tell people that my biggest fear is lying on my death bed saying ‘if only’.  As a result, I guess I don’t really have a choice in the matter.  I have to give this a go.  I refuse to die wondering.

I’m quitting the status quo.  More importantly, I’m quitting my status quo.  It’s going to be a lot of hard work with zero guarantee of success, and to be honest that scares the shit out of me in many ways.  At the same time, though, it makes me tingle with excitement even just thinking about it.  Life is funny like that.

It’s time for a change.

See you on the road.

Journey diewondering

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